਀㰀䴀䔀吀䄀 渀愀洀攀㴀䜀䔀一䔀刀䄀吀伀刀 挀漀渀琀攀渀琀㴀∀䴀匀䠀吀䴀䰀 㠀⸀  ⸀㘀  ㄀⸀㄀㤀 ㄀㤀∀㸀㰀⼀䠀䔀䄀䐀㸀 ਀㰀䐀䤀嘀 椀搀㴀吀椀琀氀攀开攀㸀

Happy to be leftover while everyone else enjoys marriage

਀㰀䠀㔀㸀唀瀀搀愀琀攀搀㨀 ㈀ ㄀㄀ⴀ 㠀ⴀ㈀㌀  㠀㨀 ㈀㰀⼀䠀㔀㸀

By Laura Nichols (China Daily)

਀㰀䐀䤀嘀 椀搀㴀䌀漀渀琀攀渀琀 挀氀愀猀猀㴀愀爀琀椀挀氀ⴀ猀甀戀㸀㰀℀ⴀⴀ攀渀瀀瀀爀漀瀀攀爀琀礀 㰀搀愀琀攀㸀㈀ ㄀㄀ⴀ 㠀ⴀ㈀㌀  㠀㨀 ㈀㨀㌀㘀⸀ 㰀⼀搀愀琀攀㸀㰀愀甀琀栀漀爀㸀䰀愀甀爀愀 一椀挀栀漀氀猀㰀⼀愀甀琀栀漀爀㸀㰀琀椀琀氀攀㸀䠀愀瀀瀀礀 琀漀 戀攀 氀攀昀琀漀瘀攀爀 眀栀椀氀攀 攀瘀攀爀礀漀渀攀 攀氀猀攀 攀渀樀漀礀猀 洀愀爀爀椀愀最攀㰀⼀琀椀琀氀攀㸀㰀欀攀礀眀漀爀搀㸀氀攀昀琀漀瘀攀爀Ⰰ洀愀爀爀椀愀最攀㰀⼀欀攀礀眀漀爀搀㸀㰀猀甀戀琀椀琀氀攀㸀㰀⼀猀甀戀琀椀琀氀攀㸀㰀椀渀琀爀漀琀椀琀氀攀㸀㰀⼀椀渀琀爀漀琀椀琀氀攀㸀㰀猀椀琀攀椀搀㸀㄀㠀㄀㰀⼀猀椀琀攀椀搀㸀㰀渀漀搀攀椀搀㸀㄀ 㐀㤀㐀㤀㠀㰀⼀渀漀搀攀椀搀㸀㰀渀漀搀攀渀愀洀攀㸀嘀椀攀眀㰀⼀渀漀搀攀渀愀洀攀㸀㰀渀漀搀攀猀攀愀爀挀栀渀愀洀攀㸀㈀䀀甀猀愀㰀⼀渀漀搀攀猀攀愀爀挀栀渀愀洀攀㸀⼀攀渀瀀瀀爀漀瀀攀爀琀礀ⴀⴀ㸀㰀℀ⴀⴀ攀渀瀀挀漀渀琀攀渀琀ⴀⴀ㸀

My Chinese friends can't imagine a woman who doesn't want to get married some day. I shock them when I tell them it describes me.

਀㰀倀㸀䄀琀琀愀椀渀椀渀最 琀栀攀 猀琀愀琀甀猀 漀昀 愀 䴀爀猀 栀愀猀 渀攀瘀攀爀 戀攀攀渀 瀀愀爀琀 漀昀 愀渀礀 漀昀 洀礀 挀愀爀攀昀甀氀氀礀 挀漀渀猀琀爀甀挀琀攀搀 洀甀氀琀椀ⴀ礀攀愀爀 瀀氀愀渀猀 ⴀ 戀甀琀 椀渀 䌀栀椀渀愀Ⰰ 眀漀洀攀渀 栀愀瘀攀 挀漀渀挀爀攀琀攀 最漀愀氀猀 昀漀爀 洀愀爀爀椀愀最攀Ⰰ 漀渀攀猀 琀栀攀礀 昀甀氀氀礀 椀渀琀攀渀搀 琀漀 猀攀攀 挀漀洀攀 琀漀 昀爀甀椀琀椀漀渀 眀椀琀栀椀渀 愀 爀攀氀愀琀椀瘀攀氀礀 猀栀漀爀琀 琀椀洀攀昀爀愀洀攀⸀ 㰀⼀倀㸀

While I balk at what little time that leaves them for themselves, it's not only natural but also feasible, since they don't plan on dating too much. Family and friends have told these girls for years that there's no time too soon to start thinking about a husband - preferably, one they can bag with their first long-term relationship.

਀㰀倀 愀氀椀最渀㴀爀椀最栀琀㸀㰀⼀倀㸀 ਀㰀吀䈀伀䐀夀㸀 ਀㰀吀䐀 瘀䄀氀椀最渀㴀挀攀渀琀攀爀 愀氀椀最渀㴀洀椀搀搀氀攀㸀㰀䤀䴀䜀 椀搀㴀㐀 㜀㘀㈀㔀㈀ 戀漀爀搀攀爀㴀㄀ 愀氀琀㴀∀䠀愀瀀瀀礀 琀漀 戀攀 氀攀昀琀漀瘀攀爀 眀栀椀氀攀 攀瘀攀爀礀漀渀攀 攀氀猀攀 攀渀樀漀礀猀 洀愀爀爀椀愀最攀∀ 愀氀椀最渀㴀洀椀搀搀氀攀 猀爀挀㴀∀栀琀琀瀀㨀⼀⼀甀猀愀⸀挀栀椀渀愀搀愀椀氀礀⸀挀漀洀⸀挀渀⼀氀椀昀攀⼀椀洀最⼀愀琀琀愀挀栀攀洀攀渀琀⼀樀瀀最⼀猀椀琀攀㄀㠀㄀⼀㈀ ㄀㄀ 㠀㈀㌀⼀戀㠀愀挀㘀昀㤀㌀㜀㐀昀㘀 昀戀搀㐀昀㔀攀 攀⸀樀瀀最∀ 洀搀㔀㴀∀∀ 瘀愀氀椀最渀㴀∀挀攀渀琀攀爀∀㸀㰀⼀吀䐀㸀㰀⼀吀刀㸀
਀㰀倀㸀吀栀攀 攀渀琀椀爀攀 瀀爀漀挀攀猀猀 漀昀 氀愀礀椀渀最 琀栀攀 昀漀甀渀搀愀琀椀漀渀 昀漀爀 愀 昀甀琀甀爀攀 栀愀猀 椀琀猀 爀漀漀琀猀 椀渀 琀爀愀搀椀琀椀漀渀Ⰰ 氀愀挀攀搀 眀椀琀栀 爀攀猀瀀攀挀琀 愀渀搀 栀漀渀漀爀 昀漀爀 琀栀攀 昀愀洀椀氀礀⸀ 一漀眀愀搀愀礀猀Ⰰ 攀瘀攀渀 椀昀 琀栀攀爀攀✀猀 愀 氀椀琀琀氀攀 昀漀爀攀椀最渀 昀攀瘀攀爀 椀渀 猀漀洀攀 猀椀渀最氀攀 䌀栀椀渀攀猀攀 眀漀洀攀渀 ⴀ 琀栀攀礀✀爀攀 挀漀渀瘀椀渀挀攀搀 椀琀✀氀氀 戀攀 挀甀爀愀戀氀攀 椀渀 愀 猀椀渀最氀攀Ⰰ 昀氀攀攀琀椀渀最 搀漀猀攀⸀ 㰀⼀倀㸀

Marrying someone from the same cultural background is "much more reasonable", one friend tells me. There are certain aspects for these girls to take into consideration - such as her fiance being able to communicate with her parents.

਀㰀倀㸀䴀漀猀琀 䌀栀椀渀攀猀攀 最椀爀氀猀 栀愀瘀攀 挀愀爀瘀攀搀 漀甀琀 琀栀攀 戀氀甀攀瀀爀椀渀琀 漀昀 琀栀攀椀爀 椀搀攀愀氀 洀愀渀 戀愀猀攀搀 漀渀 琀栀攀 最攀渀攀猀 栀攀✀氀氀 戀攀 愀戀氀攀 琀漀 瀀愀猀猀 漀渀 ⴀ 礀攀瀀Ⰰ 琀栀攀礀✀瘀攀 戀礀瀀愀猀猀攀搀 琀栀攀 栀漀渀攀礀洀漀漀渀Ⰰ 愀爀攀 氀椀猀琀攀渀椀渀最 琀漀 琀栀攀 琀椀挀欀ⴀ琀漀挀欀 漀昀 琀栀攀 戀椀漀氀漀最椀挀愀氀 挀氀漀挀欀 ⸀⸀⸀ 䤀 最甀攀猀猀 䤀✀洀 椀渀 氀漀渀最ⴀ琀攀爀洀 猀渀漀漀稀攀 洀漀搀攀⸀ 㰀⼀倀㸀

Child bearing before 30 sits perched atop the priority list in China some girls even have a preference as to whether it will be a girl or boy. The thought of becoming a mother for the first time when she's "too old" is frightening for many girls who I consider to still have their whole life ahead.

਀㰀倀㸀夀攀琀Ⰰ 攀瘀攀渀 最椀瘀攀渀 琀栀攀 氀漀漀洀椀渀最 搀攀愀搀氀椀渀攀Ⰰ 洀礀 昀爀椀攀渀搀猀 愀爀攀渀✀琀 眀漀爀爀椀攀搀 愀戀漀甀琀 昀椀渀搀椀渀最 䴀爀 刀椀最栀琀 愀渀搀 戀攀氀椀攀瘀攀 椀琀 眀椀氀氀 栀愀瀀瀀攀渀 猀漀漀渀Ⰰ 猀愀礀Ⰰ 琀眀漀 礀攀愀爀猀 椀渀琀漀 愀 爀攀氀愀琀椀漀渀猀栀椀瀀⸀ 㰀⼀倀㸀

My Chinese friends look at me with eyes full of sorrow. They're worried about me and probe as to whether I'm sure there isn't something that could change my mind. They're worried I'll become a warmed-over, leftover woman, gossiped about in hushed tones as I approach my 40s.

਀㰀倀㸀䤀渀 䌀栀椀渀愀Ⰰ 琀栀攀 漀氀搀攀爀 愀渀 甀渀洀愀爀爀椀攀搀 眀漀洀愀渀 最攀琀猀Ⰰ 琀栀攀 洀漀爀攀 搀攀猀瀀攀爀愀琀攀 猀栀攀 氀漀漀欀猀 愀渀搀 琀栀攀 氀攀猀猀 搀攀猀椀爀愀戀氀攀 猀栀攀 戀攀挀漀洀攀猀⸀ 䔀瘀攀渀 眀椀琀栀 搀椀瘀漀爀挀攀 最爀愀搀甀愀氀氀礀 戀攀挀漀洀椀渀最 洀漀爀攀 挀漀洀洀漀渀Ⰰ 猀椀渀最氀攀 ∀漀氀搀攀爀∀ 眀漀洀攀渀 愀爀攀 猀甀戀樀攀挀琀 琀漀 琀栀攀 欀椀渀搀 漀昀 猀漀爀爀漀眀昀甀氀 氀漀漀欀猀 琀栀愀琀 愀 猀攀氀昀ⴀ瀀爀漀挀氀愀椀洀攀搀 椀渀搀攀瀀攀渀搀攀渀琀 眀漀洀愀渀 氀椀欀攀 洀攀 爀攀挀漀椀氀猀 愀琀⸀ 㰀⼀倀㸀

Even if I don't want to say, "I do," I applaud my friends in their tireless pursuit of a husband. They know what they want and this is no tale of a meek damsel in distress waiting for a prince to rescue her from the tower of singledom she's trapped in.

਀㰀倀㸀䤀 眀椀猀栀 琀栀攀洀 愀氀氀 琀栀攀 戀攀猀琀 漀昀 氀甀挀欀 愀渀搀 挀愀渀✀琀 眀愀椀琀 琀漀 琀栀爀漀眀 爀椀挀攀 漀渀 琀栀攀 戀椀最 搀愀礀 ⴀ 猀漀洀攀琀椀洀攀 猀漀漀渀⸀ 㰀⼀倀㸀

As for me, I guess I'll have to hire someone to carry my handbag on the subway.

਀㰀倀 愀氀椀最渀㴀挀攀渀琀攀爀㸀㰀⼀倀㸀
Happy to be leftover while everyone else enjoys marriage